3/16 New Answer

Elder Nelson,

Thanks for your answers in your most recent letter. Here is one restated question because your previous answer was lacking in the detail department: 

What does your typical day consist of? (you can generalize, or give us a specific day as an example)

Your new answer: 

6am ___________

8am ___________

10 am __________

Noon __________

2 pm __________

4 pm __________

6 pm __________

8 pm __________

10 pm _________

Second Question: Tell us a little about the people you meet, teach, or help in your branch. 

You also asked the following question in your letter to us: I've been working on understanding/loving people, but doing so makes it easier to be disappointed and discouraged. It's something that my companion is especially struggling with. So if you have any suggestions, that would be neat.

This week’s advice: The rest of this is an answer to your question. I realize a week has passed, and it’s probably too late and too abstract to be useful, but at least the scriptures are worth reviewing :) Here are my suggestions.

1) Feeling pain for those who don’t choose the right path is both normal and necessary as a disciple / missionary. Note: it was the only pain not taken from the 3 Nephites, and it was important enough to call out specifically in that scripture. Why?

3 Nephi 28: 38 

Therefore, that they might not taste of death there was a change wrought upon their bodies, that they might not suffer pain nor sorrow save it were for the sins of the world.

2) Feeling pain for others is a good indication we’re beginning to see others as God sees them (charity). If you can understand how God provides comfort to Enoch, it may be the best guidance I can give:

Moses 7: 29+ (really, just read the whole chapter)

 29 And Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?

==read everything in between==

41 And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto Enoch, and told Enoch all the doings of the children of men; wherefore Enoch knew, and looked upon their wickedness, and their misery, and wept and stretched forth his arms, and his heart swelled wide as eternity; and his bowels yearned; and all eternity shook.

 44 And as Enoch saw this, he had bitterness of soul, and wept over his brethren, and said unto the heavens: I will refuse to be comforted; 

*Insert your own answer here, found as you read and ponder the verses that follow.

3) This one doesn’t have a tidy scripture, but comes from experience, which in the end, may be the only way to gain this perspective. 

Learn to separate your expectations from your love for others. Certainly children, spouses, church leaders, business partners, neighbors, etc. will disappoint us over and over through life. That is part of the experience on earth, but learning to love “even though...", or learning to power through disappointments is a necessary life lesson. 

Success usually involves faith in Christ, trusting the Lord and his timing, disciplining our actions in spite of how we feel, and eventually, disciplining our emotions to be in line with what we know. Certainly the Spirit will help in that effort. Time will provide hind-sight and personal testimony as we see the full story play out. All of these provide the “experience” necessary to gracefully handle ongoing discipleship, and is the challenge of a lifetime. Welcome to the journey :)

4) There is also an aspect of duty that shouldn’t be overlooked in 

Moroni 9: 6

And now, my beloved son, notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God.

5) Often, the love and interest we feel from others is the spark that can ignite a fire of testimony, and frequently it happens without our knowledge. 

Personally, I know of 2 families who returned to activity the week I left their area, after months / years of apparently no results for my efforts as a missionary and home teacher. Because we had a relationship, I invited both to attend church when I spoke in Sacrament meeting before leaving, which was their first week back. In both cases, they kept going even after I left. Have there been others influenced for good months or years later? Are there some who will be influenced by you and your companion, even though you may not know for weeks, months, years or ever? Positively.

Think of the individuals who have had the most influence on your life. How did they treat you (even when you weren’t at your best), and what did their love and example inspire in you? Like Enos, did that interaction influence you after the fact, and possibly in a time and place where the impact was unknown to them? 

Try to remember that as you interact with others.

6) Finally, this is harsh but there may be a gem worth knowing: disappointment can come from selfish desires for outcomes, rather than enthusiastic love and service. Outcomes are not the measure. Actions are the measure. Outcomes may or may not follow because we also believe in Agency.

We love you, pray for you, and we’re proud of your efforts to be obedient and to serve faithfully. 

Dad