When you feel discouraged

Happy Monday Elder Nelson!

Dad/Mom: I've been working on understanding/loving people, but doing so makes it easier to be disappointed and discouraged. It's something that my companion is especially struggling with. So if you have any suggestions, that would be neat.

Mom's suggestions to your dilemma:

Depression- Signs include lack of energy, discouragement, sensitive to disappointment, lack of willpower, change in eating habits.... If so, the mission president would be good to include in the conversation.

Understanding that there are spiritual side effects from depression is important for Latter-day Saints dealing with their own depression or that of loved ones. Depression, in all forms, alters perception, making it difficult to feel peace, love, joy, or any of the fruits of the Spirit. It becomes easy to misinterpret sorrow as condemnation by God, thus causing spiritual struggles and sometimes inactivity in the Church. This may cause further distress for individuals and families facing this challenge.

It is essential to understand that such a spiritual crisis is not a result of spiritual weakness or lack of faith. Rather, depressive feelings and the resulting depressed view of one’s spirituality are usually caused by a chemical imbalance. Because our physical bodies and our spirits are necessarily connected (seeD&C 88:15), it can be common to feel the effects of a physical disorder in a spiritual way, especially in the case of depression, which alters our very perception of ourselves. Therefore, it is important to seek out the actual source of such feelings, especially when experiencing the often-distorting effects of depression. Feb, 2016 Ensign article "Depression"

Love- When you invest effort in prayer, sacrifice time and open up yourself, it is hard to be rejected, especially if it is over and over again. This is where faith and hope and charity are in full swing. Sometime charity gives other people space and helps you to gather your stores again. Don't feel guilty if you need to take care of yourself.

Satan/opposition- Discouragement and doubt is a tool of Satan. Usually when I feel abnormally discouraged, Heavenly Father is working so that something great is about to happen. I felt very discouraged about helping Meghan right before you left on a mission. I felt that Satan was trying to stop something wonderful by discouraging a missionary's mom. 

Displaced worries- Elder Antwi may be anticipating returning home. That may be a bit of a stress if the mission life is better than the realities of home.  In that case, skills that continue post mission are invaluable. Elder Antwi is a quiet guy and may not open up to all that he is worrying about. PEF, institute and BYU-I Pathways Program are ideas he may want to look into post mission. The church trying to make a way to get educational opportunities to all the world in forms of education that looks a little different than your normal US university experience. They are putting A LOT of money and resources into this right now. Good things on the way.

We are praying so that you can know which direction to pursue. 

This week's update:

Sadie- The fifth grade is practicing for their hope of America Concert. 

Davis enjoyed the Blue and Gold Cub Scout banquet. It was all about dinosaurs. Forest brought his cool fossils. I made dinosaur heads for a game. It is always fun. Davis stayed up til 10pm ever night this week as part of a science project to test the myth "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." This week he is going to bed at 7pm. Wish us luck. Maybe he will be rich.

Pace is excited this week to be certified with pepper spray and with a taser. That means that he has to receive the treatment to get the certificate. He has a huge smile on his face. He and Porter start soccer practice this week. We are moving FHE to Sunday to accommodate. 

Porter went to Boise to Student Council State. He took Uncle Mike's Star Wars costume. Two girls asked for his number. His favorite part was the hypnotist. Porter said that as the hypnotist's voice was pressing in his mind he felt like he was going to throw up and stayed unhypnotized. He did come back with hilarious video. Long practices for the musical start this week.

Tad went with the scouts on an winter campout at the blue house. It was Gary Asper's birthday and the scouts got him an ax handle and ate cake, cobbler, apple crisp and ice cream.

Dad  is willing to help me put tile in the kitchen, mudroom and bathroom and help me build some more cabinets for the kitchen this summer. We have fun playing volleyball on Saturday nights. 

I finished 3 small quilts to send down to Bryce Canyon to sell. I started seeds for the garden and shoveled snow at Casper's. I have also been trying to think of fun things to do this summer. Hiking from the Drigg's side to Jenny Lake is on my bucket list. 

We had the missionaries over for dinner on Saturday. Elder Early from Texas is 6'10" and was eye to eye with Dad's popsicle ship on the TV cabinet. Elder Ashton is his companion from Arizona.

It was the end of the trimester this week, so everyone was checking powerschool and some were stress free and some were stressed. 

Tia and Yuki announced that they will have a baby in September. Your cousin Kelsey is due in July with a boy??? and Nathaniel's wife is also due with a girl in July. Chase is also pregnant.

World Church News- A Cyclone hit Fiji hours before the temple dedication. Despite a coutrywide curfew on travel and no electricity, Elder Erying continued to rededicate the temple with Elder Cook. During the first dedication in 2000 President Hickley performed the dedication in a private session amid political unrest and riots

 “You cannot stop the work of the Lord. You cannot. … That is what is giving the people of Fiji courage. If they can’t come [to the dedication] the temple will be open for them. … I believe the Lord requires of us not a sacrifice of money but a sacrifice of faith. Their faith through this experience taught the people who is in charge." The storm passing is the least of the miracles, Elder Eyring said. “The greatest miracle will be the ordinances that will be performed” in the temple.

Questions if you have time-

What has your mission president been doing to inspire the mission? What do you love about your mission president?

Are there any inside jokes in your mission? What is your current mission theme right now?

What is on your bucket list in Africa?

Take a picture of a typical market you shop at.

Also, I saw that Ghana Independence Day is next weekend. Take some pictures for us. Will your schedule change?

We love you. You are doing a wonderful thing for yourself and so many others by being where you are. Be positive and look for the good. We are so happy to be your parents. 

Love, Mom

Do you get Grandma's e-mails?

3/16 New Answer

Elder Nelson,

Thanks for your answers in your most recent letter. Here is one restated question because your previous answer was lacking in the detail department: 

What does your typical day consist of? (you can generalize, or give us a specific day as an example)

Your new answer: 

6am ___________

8am ___________

10 am __________

Noon __________

2 pm __________

4 pm __________

6 pm __________

8 pm __________

10 pm _________

Second Question: Tell us a little about the people you meet, teach, or help in your branch. 

You also asked the following question in your letter to us: I've been working on understanding/loving people, but doing so makes it easier to be disappointed and discouraged. It's something that my companion is especially struggling with. So if you have any suggestions, that would be neat.

This week’s advice: The rest of this is an answer to your question. I realize a week has passed, and it’s probably too late and too abstract to be useful, but at least the scriptures are worth reviewing :) Here are my suggestions.

1) Feeling pain for those who don’t choose the right path is both normal and necessary as a disciple / missionary. Note: it was the only pain not taken from the 3 Nephites, and it was important enough to call out specifically in that scripture. Why?

3 Nephi 28: 38 

Therefore, that they might not taste of death there was a change wrought upon their bodies, that they might not suffer pain nor sorrow save it were for the sins of the world.

2) Feeling pain for others is a good indication we’re beginning to see others as God sees them (charity). If you can understand how God provides comfort to Enoch, it may be the best guidance I can give:

Moses 7: 29+ (really, just read the whole chapter)

 29 And Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?

==read everything in between==

41 And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto Enoch, and told Enoch all the doings of the children of men; wherefore Enoch knew, and looked upon their wickedness, and their misery, and wept and stretched forth his arms, and his heart swelled wide as eternity; and his bowels yearned; and all eternity shook.

 44 And as Enoch saw this, he had bitterness of soul, and wept over his brethren, and said unto the heavens: I will refuse to be comforted; 

*Insert your own answer here, found as you read and ponder the verses that follow.

3) This one doesn’t have a tidy scripture, but comes from experience, which in the end, may be the only way to gain this perspective. 

Learn to separate your expectations from your love for others. Certainly children, spouses, church leaders, business partners, neighbors, etc. will disappoint us over and over through life. That is part of the experience on earth, but learning to love “even though...", or learning to power through disappointments is a necessary life lesson. 

Success usually involves faith in Christ, trusting the Lord and his timing, disciplining our actions in spite of how we feel, and eventually, disciplining our emotions to be in line with what we know. Certainly the Spirit will help in that effort. Time will provide hind-sight and personal testimony as we see the full story play out. All of these provide the “experience” necessary to gracefully handle ongoing discipleship, and is the challenge of a lifetime. Welcome to the journey :)

4) There is also an aspect of duty that shouldn’t be overlooked in 

Moroni 9: 6

And now, my beloved son, notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God.

5) Often, the love and interest we feel from others is the spark that can ignite a fire of testimony, and frequently it happens without our knowledge. 

Personally, I know of 2 families who returned to activity the week I left their area, after months / years of apparently no results for my efforts as a missionary and home teacher. Because we had a relationship, I invited both to attend church when I spoke in Sacrament meeting before leaving, which was their first week back. In both cases, they kept going even after I left. Have there been others influenced for good months or years later? Are there some who will be influenced by you and your companion, even though you may not know for weeks, months, years or ever? Positively.

Think of the individuals who have had the most influence on your life. How did they treat you (even when you weren’t at your best), and what did their love and example inspire in you? Like Enos, did that interaction influence you after the fact, and possibly in a time and place where the impact was unknown to them? 

Try to remember that as you interact with others.

6) Finally, this is harsh but there may be a gem worth knowing: disappointment can come from selfish desires for outcomes, rather than enthusiastic love and service. Outcomes are not the measure. Actions are the measure. Outcomes may or may not follow because we also believe in Agency.

We love you, pray for you, and we’re proud of your efforts to be obedient and to serve faithfully. 

Dad

3/16 Dreams and Dinosaurs

Tyrel came over to eat dinner today. He’s back from a self-imposed sobriety ‘camp’ and is now in a ‘recovery house’. He’s been sober 43 days, which is a record for sobriety not imposed by the state. He’s taken to AA and a serious study of the gospel, and as part of the recovery, had a real heart-to-heart with his mom and dad about life, their impact on him, and his addiction. He has gained weight (not so sickly) and is looking really good. He seems to have made a significant stride, in that he is making this choice.

We bought a car. It’s a 2012 Chevy Impala (gold) grandma car, but had really low miles at a low cost, so it works. I’ll try to sell it again immediately for a few thousand more than we paid. If it sells, great, we made money and we’ll look for another. If it doesn’t, it’s still nice to have a car that’s younger than my kids :)

It’s been warmer here, up to 43° this last week. Bishop Jensen caught me and asked how we were enjoying the lake in front of our house (complete with icebergs and islands). He said that when Lenore Standiford used to live here, John Poole and his boys called it Lake Lenore. I told him it was great. Olivia Nelson dropped Porter off the other day, but when she saw the condition of our driveway, opted to stop in the middle of the street and made him wade through it to the house. 

Mom at lunch with a few people you might know and love. Picture is attached below. Porter and Cody are planning a summer backpack trip, Mom and I are planning to hike from the Driggs side past the Tetons to the Jackson side (around 20 miles) with Tad, Brigham and Isaac. Mom is also creating masks for the Cub Scout Pack Meeting on Dinosaurs. Drew is the T-Rex, Pace is the Triceratops (see other photo below, and pay special attention to the “quoty fingers” on the T-Rex). 

Hi, this is Porter. I have been busy with college classes and with the aerospace program. We’ve been put in groups of three and been assigned to design blueprints for a fully functioning Crew Exploration Vehicle (CEV). As a team, we decided to plan a manned mission to Mars. I talked to Chris Eckman and he gave me a whole load of information. He’s letting me use his accounts on a couple design programs that are specifically made for building rockets. He also told me that he might be able to work out some back door connections with some friends of his at Lockheed Martin! I think that if I can really blow this project out of the water, it will guarantee my admittance into the summer academy (the summer academy is a week long, all-expenses paid trip to Boise and to the NASA ames center in California). So my days are packed, but I’m having fun. Also, dad got a new car, which means that I have the Jeep back! :)

Dad again: I spoke in Lewisville today about Testimony. Last night I had a dream that I was conducting sacrament meeting in the red brick church. I started to give my talk, but didn’t have my printed talk. I pulled out my computer to find the talk, but the battery was almost dead. I found the cord to plug it in, but my talk wasn’t still open on the computer. This is all taking an awkwardly long amount of time. As I looked up, a family got up to leave sacrament meeting. I apologized and try to find the talk in saved files, but it was nowhere on my computer. Minutes passed with radio silence from the pulpit, and I could hear families walking out of sacrament meeting. I kept apologizing then looked up again, but nobody was left in the chapel, and the lights were off. It was then that I realized I wasn’t even supposed to speak there. I was supposed to speak in Lewisville 2nd, but it was only 9:26, so I had time to get there and try again if I hurried. Then I woke up. Aargh. Not a happy, restful dream or a good way to start the sabbath day.

=============TALK

Here’s the summary of the talk in bullet points (read full scriptural account to get a broader picture). Our responsibility is to:

1) to OBTAIN a Personal Witness from God that this work is true

2) to change our nature through conversion

3) to bear witness to those in our sphere of influence that this work is true

Matt 16:

 17 And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.

Matt 17:

 1 And after six days Jesus taketh Peter, James, and John his brother, and bringeth them up into an high mountain apart,

 2 And was transfigured before them: and his face did shine as the sun, and his raiment was white as the light.

 5 While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him.

Luke 22:

 32 But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.

 34 And he said, I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me.

Elder Holland:

Whatever his feelings, Peter said for the third time, "Lord, ... thou knowest that I love thee." To which Jesus responded (and here again I acknowledge my non-scriptural elaboration), Jesus responded, perhaps saying something like: "Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation?

Wasn't it obvious then and isn't it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need, Peter, are disciples--and I need them forever.

I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do.

Acts 3:

 12 ¶And when Peter saw it, he answered unto the people, Ye men of Israel, why marvel ye at this? or why look ye so earnestly on us, as though by our own power or holiness we had made this man to walk?

Peter is a good example of each element of testimony, especially as we see his true conversion lead to the powerful witness of Christ’s gospel.

3/16 Mom Gone Week

Dear Elder Nelson,

The summary-

I went to the Bryce Canyon's Ruby's Inn to a winter quilt retreat with Grandma and Grandpa. On the way we stopped at the Norman Rockwell exhibit at BYU.  I was inspired, rejuvenated all week and loved being with grandma doing something she loves. I felt Heavenly Father's help as I ponder what to do in the next stage of life. I was reminded how much I love family, love, love being outside, love hearing good people that do hard things, love feeling Heavenly Father answer my prayers and lead me line upon line. 

Could you take a picture a week of the ordinary scenery and life of Ghana? Send them when you can. 

Advice of the week-  Avoided focusing on misfortune, conflict and the problems of  life. Instead, find the inspiring stories of people that are serious or humorous and learn through the spirit from them. The Lord gave you two ears to listen and two eyes to see and one mouth....use them in that ratio.

The long version-

The trip started out with me wondering if I should really leave. Dad's project was still going long and I stayed home longer than planned so that he could go into the office...... but I  didn't let panic overcome me. I was able to leave in daylight and make it to Grandma and Grandpa's.

I left with two big questions in my mind; 1) What good can I do as Drew goes to school this fall and I move into a new stage in life?  Work.. hobby.. something that is fulfilling and healthy, something that Dad and the kids could support, something inspiring for me, something that doesn't drain money, but contributes to our financial stability. 2) How can I strengthen my testimony and focus my life on the things that matter for eternity?

Here are the pieces of the puzzle that unfolded:

The best thing about riding with Grandma is she stops  on the fly for great art exhibits...and so we did for the Norman Rockwell exhibit at BYU. One quote that struck me was, "Norman Rockwell's illustrations avoided misfortune, conflict and the problems of city life. He preferred to tell stories, whether serious or humorous that entertained."  I have always marveled at how Elder Uchdorf is able to describe in words the common feelings of humans in humorous and meaningful ways. Norman Rockwell does the same thing in picture. 

Then on to Bryce Canyon. We stayed at Ruby's Inn. Ruby Syrett and his wife homesteaded a property on the edge of nowhere. After coming to southern Utah with their two young kids, property bought sight unseen, their neighbor asked if they had seen the hole in their backyard. They went to the hole to find something amazing (what is now Bryce Canyon) and since then started a hotel and restaurant.

I love hearing stories of good people who do hard things.

Grandma has been coming to a winter quilt retreat here for 20 years. She teaches a couple classes a year....enough to cover the costs of the retreat, hotel, meals and $ for material she wants to buy for the upcoming year. Since I have been working up her patterns, she asked if I would like to come this year and learn and sell her patterns. I hand pieced my first quilt from grandma's patterns on the way down!! Yeah. Her quilts are like none at the retreat. She is unique with her landscapes.... and very much a minority. The ladies in her classes love her. Every afternoon and evening there was a program with lady's showing their AMAZINGLY CRAZY quilting habit. But it was a very wonderful comedy show at the same time. The 150 ladies are all nice, funny, talented and very uplifting to be around. I didn't let the overwhelming feeling of under-performance on my part overtake me...knowing I was pondering my deep questions. It was great to have time with Mom doing something she loves.  I loved when she shared the history behind the scenes that she taught. I loved being around happy people. 

I made enough to cover my expenses plus some great leads to sell more of the quilt patterns. One morning it was -14F, so instead of go cross country skiing I went with Grandpa and Grandma into Bryce Canyon. There weren't any crowds. On our way out we stopped at the visitors center for a bathroom, and I had the thought to take some patterns in to see if I could sell them there. The first thing the director said was, "I just got your patterns approved by the foundation to sell. I am so glad you came in because I didn't know how to get a hold of you."  I hadn't even sent her a pattern. She picked it up from somewhere???? She also gave me contact numbers of several the other visitor centers in the Utah, Arizona area and is meeting with them in two weeks and asked for sample sheets to give to them. She also gave me ideas of new projects and info for a annual conference of all the National Parks in March. She bought patterns on the spot and also bought more at the end of the week that I hadn't sold at the quilt retreat. Mom's students bought extra patterns... spending $100 at a time. 

The Ruby's Inn gift shop bought quite a few new patterns as well. Then two young quilters that are associated with a large fabric line mentioned going to "Market". I asked what that was and they said that this year the International Fabric "Market" is in Salt Lake and companies have booths for wholesale purposes. One of quilters designs fabric and the other makes patterns. Grandma and I are hoping to go and see. I might try to make some appointments with companies that may team up with me. 

Even though I was so inspired by the other quilters and also had some opportunities open up to sell more patterns, I still worried about the balance of time for kids and family which are more important to me that money and things. Then the last night when they were having a show and tell, a lady who reluctantly wanted to learn to applique took a class from an applique fanatic. She couldn't believe that the fanatic produced so much work in her "stolen time" (time waiting for kid's lessons, appointments...ect.). The fanatic carries with her a little bag with 3 hours worth of work at a time.  She put the claim to the test. The result was a queen size quilt with intricate applique....in only 2 1/2 months. It was hard to believe as I looked at it. But it is relaxing for me to be productive while waiting. 

A few other times the idea of a "Nest" came up. A "nest" is a place to recenter and work out the problems of the world. 

I love hiking...but I love cross country skiing just as much, or more. It fills me up. I love being outside, the sunshine, the scenery, the exercise. Two of the mornings I rented some skis and went through the forest and out to the canyon rim on a 4 mile loop. I could do that all day....for days. My dream is to take a year and home  school (in an RV) while we visit all the National Parks that we can.

 I stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's on Saturday night to avoid driving home while drowsy and had Grandma give one more lesson on finishing the quilt. By then I was addicted to the colorful thread that she uses. It is such a fun creative process.  Lots of ideas flooded my mind of things I would like to try and avenues to pursue. I came home with fabric from grandma's stacks and new scenes we want to make this year. So I made my list and started back to reality. I would love to do one of Ghana and give it to your mission president or important people in your mission. 

 I haven't cooked for a week. There are lots of good things to do in this life, but I want to do the best things and the right things. 

On my drive home I listened to D& C and  Howard W. Hunters lesson #4: Help from on High. They spoke to my soul.

D&C 33:17 Wherefore, be faithful, praying always, having your lamps trimmed and burning, and oil with you, that you may be ready at the coming of the Bridegroom—

The thought that came to me when listening to this scripture is that I can continue prayerful and be guided day to day. I also need to be fulfilled, inspired and a happy mom to have my lamp full and ready to help in the second coming of the Lord. Being in nature, being inspired, being creative, being with happy people, being with family, being a support to Dad without big distractions, being there when my kids are in their crossroads, and having something that I can work on in my stolen time is a way to trim my lamp. 

From Howard W.. Hunter "All of us face times in our lives when we need heavenly help in a special and urgent way. We all have moments when we are overwhelmed by circumstances or confused by the counsel we get from others, and we feel a great need to receive spiritual guidance, a great need to find the right path and do the right thing. In the scriptural preface to this latter-day dispensation, the Lord promised that if we would be humble in such times of need and turn to him for aid, we would “be made strong, and [be] blessed from on high, and receive knowledge from time to time.” (D&C 1:28.) That help is ours if we will but seek it, trust in it, and follow what King Benjamin, in the Book of Mormon, called “the enticings of the Holy Spirit.” (Mosiah 3:19.)"

....But, we may say, Joseph Smith was a very special spirit, and his was a special case. What about the rest of us who may now be older—at least older than fourteen—and have not been destined to open a dispensation of the gospel? We also must make decisions and sort out confusion and cut through a war of words in a whole host of subjects that affect our lives. The world is full of such difficult decisions, and sometimes as we face them, we may feel our age or our infirmities.

Sometimes we may feel that our spiritual edge has grown dull. On some very trying days, we may even feel that God has forgotten us, has left us alone in our confusion and concern. But that feeling is no more justified for the older ones among us than it is for the younger and less experienced. God knows and loves us all. We are, every one of us, his daughters and his sons, and whatever life’s lessons may have brought us, the promise is still true: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” (James 1:5

D&C 11

12 And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit.

 13 Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy;

 14 And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.

Everyone was alive and happy when I got home this afternoon. I think they will write their side of the week the tales of their week. 

Bonus advice of the week: Keep a prayer in your heart of the important complexities of life. Heavenly Father will answer your prayers. And, your wife may go through this same stage. 

3/16 Mom's Home!

Mom’s Home!

She left for Southern Utah Quilting Conference with Grandma on Monday, and it’s been a long, long week.

We’ve been working on a large project that was due a couple of weeks ago. When we turned it over, it didn’t work on all their computers, so we’ve spent the week trying to organize a multi-state effort to diagnose and fix the problem. The company faces a $1 Million per day fine if this is not completed and their 10,000 employees pass the training by April 1. The phrase “heads will roll” has been used, so pressure is mounting. It turns out we are solving for several problems that are not related to what we built but to their several versions of computer hardware/software interactions, but at this stage, they don’t care that it’s not our fault, it just has to be done. So I’ve been working long hours on that project, while taking care of Drew, getting all the meals, etc. I’m tired and drained. It was wonderful to lay on your mom’s lap for a few minutes this afternoon. It helps recharge batteries like nothing else can.

Everyone has been really good to help this week. Everybody but Drew helped cook dinner at least once, the older boys a couple of times. The only failure was the grilled cheese sandwiches Tad decided to keep warm by leaving them on the grill. One side was deliciously golden brown, the other was horrifically black. Scraping with a knife was a pretty good remedy.

Tad has been taking Hunter’s Education with Brigham and Isaac. They’re pretty excited, but I don’t think that group should be allowed to hold guns together.

Drew and I worked on counting this week. He started knowing 1-5. We worked 4 days on 6-9. He’s not totally there yet, but can hit them most of the time. At that point, we branched out to 1-1000 using a grid of numbers so he could see the logical progression. Now, I can point to a number on the grid (1-100) and he can get it 80% of the time. He is pretty darn proud of himself. Fun.

Sadie spent a couple of afternoons at a friend’s house, feeling her pre-teen oats. I’m sure we’re about to enter no-man’s land with her, but so far, it’s pretty tolerable.

Porter took the ACT, and felt pretty good about it generally. He didn’t really prepare for the test, just went with the knowledge he’s gotten out of classes. It’ll be interesting to see how it comes out.

Pace told us about breaking into the church janitor’s closet “restricted area” to get a light bulb for the sacrament prep room. Mom made a disapproving comment and hit me as I told him the easier way to break in. Turns out he may have legitimately inherited some of his less desirable, criminal qualities.

Davis took 4 AR tests on Saturday, even though he’s already exceeded his reading goal significantly. Hmm. Wonder where he gets that.

This week’s advice: I’m reiterating, but last week’s comment about “stupid people” confirms a suspicion :) Don’t be too much like me. When asked about my mission experience, I once told someone it had "increased my faith in the Lord, but lowered my faith in people.”

Take this next part seriously : I've spent the last 20+ years trying to learn to love people. It is probably my biggest weakness, has strained my most important relationships (including with you), and keeps me from being a more effective servant of the Lord. Try to become someone who loves others while you are 100%, full-time engaged in the work of the Lord. I wish I had known as a missionary how big of an issue it would be for me through my life. It is fully half of the 2 Great Commandments, and is developed by putting other’s welfare ahead of your own (so I’ve been told :).

We’re proud of you, proud of your desire to engage, your commitment to obedience and enthusiasm for the chance to serve. Keep the faith.

Dad

2/16

Good Morning!

We had a new couple sit by us in Sacrament Meeting. They just moved into the ward. He has flaming red hair and she is black as black. She is from a country in the southern west part of Africa??? I can't remember the name. She seems really nice and said she would teach me how to cook. She married a Raymond from Grant.

On Tuesday Sadie and I went with Grandma Nikki to listen to Sister Bednar speak at a special womens' meeting. It was amazing. She gave about 50 examples of righteous women all over the world including several from Africa. (They were there just 1 or 2 days before you got to the MTC). One example was an African sister who was teaching and said, "Now sisters, fasting is only if you have food and choose not to eat it. " A fast for them may be two days, if they are only eating a meal a day. Elder Bednar spoke for just a little bit and shared a story about when Elder Perry and Elder Scott were on the campus. Elder Perry was attracting students like glue and Elder Scott was just on the fringe hanging back. One time he saw a girl that was hesitating to go up to Elder Perry and shake his hand. He encouraged her, without her realizing that she was being encouraged by another apostle. He also talked about how general authority wives are not called, but yet they have a calling. They often are in the background and how he admired their humility. He then gave us an apostolic blessing for us to be able to see the good in ourselves, and that we would increase in power and righteousness and have joy and peace in our lives now.

From Aunt Brenda...

So I just had a guy out to fix something on my TV and it turns out that he has a cousin and a friend who are both in Isaac's mission. I think the names are Lund and Sutherin. I pulled up the picture Isaac set with all the elders on it and the repair guy picked them out. Small world....

Pray for Dad this week. He still is working on his big project, gone long, and taking care of stuff at home. I asked if he wanted me to stay and, of course, he is a little stubborn. 

Love you!!!  Mom

2/16

Hello again this week.

I was asked to teach 5th Sunday Relief Society today in the Grant 2nd Ward. So naturally, I started with an art lesson. I talked about 1 point perspective as a tool to accurately render 3d architectural space in 2 dimensions. Then I shared two paintings (see below), and talked about how the artist used 1 point perspective to not just render space, but to focus the viewer on the Savior.

After that, we drew a parallel of how the Lord uses the principle of tithing to accomplish other purposes in our lives besides just funding the church. We get so much more out of paying tithing than what we put in. Malachi chapter 3:8-12 is often quoted in relation to tithing. Too often, I think we miss the context set in verses 1-2, especially as they relate to D&C Section 64. The law of tithing seems significant in preparing the world for the second coming as it relates to the law of consecration and the transforming effect the act of paying tithing has on individuals. 

Mom came with me. She’s good. I teased her a little bit about making it harder to teach, because I have to be both inspired and honest at the same time :) Anyway, after giving her a hard time, I forgot to bring my lesson (I had the other props), and she had to run home quickly to bail me out. It was a good reminder of what really fuels our relationship. 

Elder Bednar gave a devotional at BYUI this week. He talked about the pattern of repetition with Joseph smith and Moroni. Then he gave the same apostolic warning and promise to those assembled that he’s given in 2006, 2010, and again this year:

Elder David A Bednar (Oct 2006)

In the authority of the holy Apostleship, I now raise a voice of warning and I make a solemn promise. If the day ever were to come that intellectual arrogance, a lack of appreciation, and a spirit of demanding entitlement take root on this campus—among the students, the faculty, the employees, the administration, or within the community of Rexburg—then in that day the Spirit of Ricks will be well on the way to being extinguished—and the heavenly influence and blessings that have prospered this institution and the people associated with it will be withdrawn. Conversely, as long as intellectual modesty, humility, gratitude, obedience, and frugality continue to characterize those who learn and serve at Brigham Young University–Idaho, then this university will shine forth ever brighter as a beacon of righteousness and of inspired educational innovation.

I don’t think that counsel is limited to the people at BYUI.

Mom took Drew and Davis to see the Chinese acrobats at BYUI. You could tell Drew was impressed. He came home talking about ninja’s. Mom is also going to Southern Utah this week with Grandma Johnson to the quilt conference. Mom will be selling quilt patterns, spending time with Grandma, taking quilting classes, and enjoying her freedom. We hope she is going to come home at the end of her week of freedom. I’ll be taking over the care and feeding for the next week. Pray for your siblings. Mom is also close to sending the package she has promised for the last several weeks. It’ll probably be opened and stripped of valuables, but let us know what actually arrives (probably a few weeks out, still). 

From Mom: good job on the letter last week. It was good to hear about the baptisms, and the people you’re meeting. Lots of people have identified with your comments about the color wheel / faith, hope and charity. It is such an easy way to understand. I have been thinking all week about where different things would go on the chart. Would you use a CMYK wheel or RGB? In CMYK the mixture of all colors (patience) is white, and in RBG it is black. Patience actually feels a little translucent to me. Don’t be discouraged about waiting 6 months for Rebecca to be baptized. God has a way of making hard things a blessing. Did you find enough recipes? Or do you still need variety? I am going down to Bryce Canyon with Grandma and grandpa to a quilt retreat this week. Dad will be here working and being mom."

Porter is 17. In Gem State, Porter played Puszta, which is Hungarian Gypsy music about their trials. That’s it. No more detail. Seminary has been good for Porter. I’m grateful he has opportunity for the deeper exposure and question / answer available in that program. He got the “Thing Explainer” for his birthday, which is a book by the “What If” author, which uses the 1000 most common words to describe scientific stuff. It’s illustrated, which is really helpful trying to decipher what he is talking about. Here’s a sample from the section titled “Tree of Life”, which illustrates how /where things evolved and branched. See if you can guess the following:

pink animal we eat

long neck

big food animal

runner in the trees

angry river animal

air-breathing fish (not fish)

sand horse

store check-out horse

The illustrations show:

Pig

Giraffe

Cow

Deer

Hippopotamus

Whale

Camel

Zebra (bar code, if you didn’t catch that one)

Olivia Nelson posted this photo to Karie. We laugh because this an 85% accurate representation of Pace at the moment. It’s also funny because they have been pranking us with llama themed paraphernalia for the last few months. Some good news: Pace scored almost half of the points for the boy’s basketball team in our ward (6 of 16). Some bad news: they lost by about 32 points. Mr Johnson sent home a postcard to “the parents of Pace Nelson” telling us how happy he is to have a 3rd Nelson boy, and then was very complimentary of Pace. Thanks for setting the expectations for a generation. (UPDATE) Mom is now putting curlers in Pace’s hair to see how it looks with a generous wave.

Tad is wearing his pajamas and safety glasses while dribbling a 36 inch exercise ball with 1 finger. Pretty much the same, but taller. Today was ward conference, and in combined YM/YW, President Searle asked the Bishop to define “normal.” Bishop Jensen’s response was "what’s normal for you, might not be normal for me." Isaac Hansen leaned over to Porter and pointed to Tad and Brigham (off in their own world) and nodded conspiratorially.

Sadie is enjoying PEP, and is starting to do things with her friends. So far, it doesn’t involve make-up or flirting, but we’re starting to see pre-teen behaviors. She is doing really well with the piano, and taught Drew to play the first few lines of “We thank thee O God for a Prophet”. No one knew that at first, so we thought we had a musical prodigy in our midst. Turns out, we have a big sister in our midst, which is probably better.

Davis is offended, for the 3rd time in 5 minutes. grr. 

Drew spent the afternoon outside in shorts and a t-shirt. Yes, it’s still winter here. Porter and I went home teaching at the Ricks, and when we came home, Mom had taken the Jeep to drop off some scout stuff. Drew wanted to go with her, but she left without him, so he got on his shoes, and took off down the bike path, unbeknownst to anyone but Sadie, who didn’t mention it. We were home for a half hour before mom got home, and it was another 15 minutes before he came back mad at the world because he wasn’t allowed to go with her. Apparently, he sat under the bridge with his arms pulled into his t-shirt for 45 minutes, protesting the hostile treatment of 5 year olds and no one noticed. Mom gave him a warm bath and warned me to watch him close next week while she’s gone.

This week’s advice: 

1) Take opportunities to see unique stuff on P-Day. I know there’s a lot of routine stuff to manage, but take the time to see historic, geological, cultural, other stuff while you are there. You’ll be glad later. 

2) Be patient with the rules about attendance before baptism. Just like marriage to your mom, if they’re really converted, they’ll be even more ready when the time comes. Make sure to use the 6 month opportunity to get them involved with activities and habits that will keep them active in the gospel. The long-term baptismal date will continue to provide motivation.

We love you and pray for you and Elder Antwi. Tell him thank you from your parents for being a righteous, worthy example. 

Dad

2/16

To get you ready for the rainy season---
Raindrops keep falling on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes
Will soon be turning red
Crying's not for me 'cause,
I'm never gonna stop the rain
By complaining,
Because I'm free
Nothing's worrying me
It won't be long
Till happiness
Steps up to greet me


Remember to put a sock full of rice in your shoes so they wick out the moisture and last a little longer. 
Pictures- Cross Country Skiing near Cress Creek, Porter and Olivia Gneighting at Winter Ball

2/16

Hi from Mom,

I haven't really fallen in love with the 9am schedule....Dad usually leaves for meetings early or is preparing for a talk, so I have to wake up extra early and be ready to get kids going early. And, everyone wants food....lots of food... breakfast, lunch and dinner and treats. When we go at 11 or 1pm I can get away with just one large meal a small breakfast and a snack. I think just not eating would be a better way to live. Then all the older guys take big afternoon naps like lions, with the younger children filling the floor with games and legos and tempting the lions out of their sleep with arguing or sometimes laughter. 

I love the story about the man who feeds you every Sunday. I am so grateful for his example. 

So the above paragraph should also include....I am so grateful for Sunday's to have everyone here, reading, playing and resting. I love going to church and being able to sub for anybody that needs it. Today I subbed for Pace's Sunday School class. I love having Dad around. He told his client that they don't work on Sunday, so they would pick back up on the rush job on Monday morning early. I love doing the dishes together, hearing Tad's crazy ideas, Porter's scientific insights, and teasing Pace. I love cuddling up with Drew and Davis and Sadie and reading with them. I love having time to write to you and catching up on Sunday stuff. And we are signed up to have the missionaries over to dinner next month. Ha Ha ..I have two personalities. 

Porter brought up an insight that I thought was valuable. It seems that good people quickly repent of things that may not have been fully their fault...but want to be clean and right with the Lord. He sighted several scriptural examples from the Old Testament. Sometimes they may see something inappropriate or do something unknowingly, but they repent and readjust their lives quickly. 

It is Porter's 17th birthday this week. Grandpa's was last Wednesday. Any good ideas for presents?

On Friday Dad took a half a day off work to go on a double date with me and  Jacksons. Steve ended up getting sick, but Stephanie, Breanne and Sarah came with us. We went to Pocatello to find a Yurt to cross country ski to for a future adventure. We didn't make it to the yurt, but had fun on another trail. Then because we had an extra pair of skis we decided to rent some for the younger kids and go Saturday with our family to the canal road below Cress Creek that is along the Snake River. We stopped and played games at Grandma Nikki's after. 

Porter went to the El Cheapo dance with Sadie (I forgot her last name....Abby's friend) on Saturday afternoon and night.. Colton went with Abby.  They went cross country skiing again...so he really got a day full of it. But it was a good day for it. El Cheapo is a new dance that they only announce the week of, then whoever gets asked has to pay for the date, but can only spend $20.16. 

Tad went to the Klondike Derby on Friday and Saturday. Their scout group has gone camping every month. Isaac, Brigham and Tad had lots of fun. 

Porter and I left the driveway on Saturday night with a sign in front of the car that says Llama Lover's lane.Llama Lover Parking Only. Violators will be spit on. We suspect this was a Becky and Brigham job. Tad had a smile from ear to ear. Tad is constantly telling us ideas of what he and Brigham are going to do. 

Pace applied for the Rigby Police Department Cadet program. He also signed up for spring soccer along with Porter. 

This Tuesday Grandma Nikki asked if we would drive her to a women's meeting at BYU-I with Sister Bednar. Elder Bednar is speaking at devotional in the day and she will go to that.  But this meeting is at night, so Grandma doesn't want to drive.  Sadie and I are excited we get to drive her and attend. 

Davis is really taking off in piano. He has 10 or more songs this week. Drew loves to practice too. 

This week is parent teacher conference.Yay.  I love this holiday. I get lots of presents. 

Next week I am going with Grandma and Grandpa to Bryce Canyon to a quilt retreat. I will take a class from her, sell her patterns and material kits and take another class to make some new quilted placemats. This week I will finish up getting patterns ready. 

Sadie High got her mission call to the band in Nauvoo. She is so excited. 

I saw Stetson's mom this week at a scout meeting. Stetson is in Moscow going to school. She said hi and asked how you were doing. Lots of people at the high school registration fair asked how you are doing. Hi from Mr. Rasmussen!! The Sound of Troy sang at our Martin's Cove kick-off fireside. 

We love you. You feel so far away, but now that I know how to make plantain fufu, I will make it and think of you. It is really easy! Stephanie and Amy tried making it too. We all like it. Be careful,  I gained a lot of weight during mochi season. Those carb balls can get you.

Last call for requests for your package. I will mail it on Tuesday. 

Love you, Mom

1/16

Hi.

We just finished dishes after lunch. Going to church at 9 am is sure nice, in that it gives us larger, unbroken periods of time on Sunday. Everyone is sitting around eating red hots and playing a game together. 

I had a weird dream this morning. I was doing dishes when I turned and noticed you standing in the kitchen. As it is with dreams, I was surprised to see you here, since you were on a mission in Africa. You seemed a little down, so we gave you a hug, told you that we loved you, and lovingly sent you back out the door to your mission. My dream was probably just a result of the chili I ate on Saturday (since I’ve never had a dream that meant anything), but if you ever do get a little discouraged and need some encouragement, know that we love you and we’re proud of what you’re doing, that we know you will survive and learn great things from it, then get back out and go to work :)

I spoke in Lewisville 2 today. It was an interesting experience. My topic was The Rescue, Ministering and Home Teaching. I prepared my talk a week early, but just wasn’t feeling the inspiration on this topic. As I was driving into the parking lot, I had a series of thoughts that I knew would make the talk less awful. As I got into the chapel and started writing them down, I had a few other thoughts fall into place. I ended up giving a pretty different talk than what I had prepared, and it turned out much better than what I had prepared. 

Sometimes I wonder what we’re supposed to learn from the “last minute help” we get from Heavenly Father. I have had the occasional experience when I knew what I should say or do immediately, when things just fell into place and I felt guided from the outset. More frequently, however, it goes the other way and the real guidance comes at the end after I’ve tried other stuff. I don’t know what it is, but there’s probably a deep eternal principle there, if I could just figure it out.

This week’s advice: I don’t know if Nephi would have been ready to slay Laban before Laman was chased away, all their precious things were stolen, and they had run for their lives. Had they found Laban right off, would Nephi have been prepared to follow through with what the Lord needed him to do? I don’t think so. How many times are the things we try first actually the lessons that prepare us for the solution we needed to arrive at, but were unprepared to embrace until after the experience?  May have answered my own question from above.

Your mom is writing too, so this is just a supplement. We love you. Keep the faith. 

Dad

Here’s another entry for Faith & Evidences:

===============

Grandma Ormond’s Blessing

This is another one where I’ll state that I’m not sure that my experience reflects accurate doctrine, but it is accurate.

When we moved back to Idaho from school in California. we took the opportunity to visit Grandma Ormond frequently. She lived in a nursing home in Rexburg, and we would drop in with our kids or individually on a regular basis. Grandma had great longevity genes (related to Elder Perry) and a pleasant, amicable personality. At age 95, she had a serious fall, and the medical complications looked grim. In the hospital, she became unresponsive, and my Mom asked me to give here a blessing.

If you haven’t had the opportunity to give a priesthood blessing to someone in dire circumstances, it’s a weighty responsibility. I especially feel the need to KNOW what the Lord would have me say in the blessing when using his Priesthood. In this instance, I felt complete confidence that this was a minor issue, and blessed her that her doctors would be able to quickly treat her, and that she would regain her health. Within just a few days, the doctors realized that they had crossed a couple of medications which produced a negative side-effect (coma). They changed the medication, and she immediately pulled out and recovered. 

Fast forward a couple of years. Grandma had taken another hard fall one night as she tried to go to the bathroom, and had become unresponsive. My mother asked if I would come and give her a blessing. As I sat briefly with both of them in Grandma Ormond’s room, I felt that Grandma Ormond wouldn’t recover from this, and began to wonder how to give a blessing that releases someone from this life. As I laid my hands on her head, I felt something totally unexpected. I felt that I was standing in as proxy for my Grandpa Ormond, who was the rightful priesthood bearer to give this blessing. I knew that Grandma needed to be released from this life and that she would die very soon. I also felt my Grandfather’s impatience, as if there were important things that they two needed to be doing, almost as if her death were a formality that had been postponed long enough.

I don’t remember specifics of the blessing, other than I released her from this life by the authority of the Priesthood, and that my mom cried as I said it. After I finished, and sat with mom, Grandma Ormond’s breathing began to be more and more labored, and she passed away about 40 minutes later as we sat peacefully in her room. My mom was understandably emotional, commenting that now she was an orphan. It was an honest statement, without a hint of facetiousness. It’s one of the few times I’ve seen her vulnerable.

The experience was special to me, and together with experiences I’ve shared as a missionary, or when we received financial help from Grandma 5 years after she passed away, has made me wonder about our eternal relationships and how much influence our ancestors have in our lives here. It certainly felt as if familial ties were actually deepened here and in eternity. I’ve wondered if many of the events in our lives here operate under the direction of the priesthood, through our deceased ancestors as the ministering of angels. Regardless of the answers there, I have experienced the power of the Priesthood as I’ve been inspired to know things I could not otherwise know (the future), and to participate in eternally significant events.